A Funny Moment

I'll share a funny moment from work the other day.
I work at Menards, from 5-11 AM Monday through Friday. It isn't a fabulous job, it gets boring, but I make better money than I made when I was a keyholder and the freight coordinator at Joanns...And Joanns is a whole other post for later!
But anyway, there was some cat food that didn't fit on the shelf, so I needed to put it up high as an overstock item. So I got a ladder and carried it up, and somehow ended up hitting myself in the face with the cat food and knocking my glasses askew.
I got it up there finally, and then went to tell Beth, a wonderful lady I work with, the story.
I told her and she started laughing, and she has a very contagious and loud laugh, so a customer came around the corner and turned to me and said "Well I didn't hear the story!"
I laughed, and said: "Well, I hit myself in the face with a bag of cat food".
The customer: "Why would you do that? All out of dog food?"
We all laughed at that, and then Beth turned back to me and asked if I'd looked around to see if anyone had seen me. I replied that I had and I didn't see anyone. I told Beth and the customer "You're the only two who know, so as long as you don't tell anyone I'm good!"
The customer laughed at me and said "Well...I suppose I can be bribed." He then asked me how long until I got off work, and I told him about 40 minutes. He replied, "well, I'd avoid the brick aisle for the next 40 minutes if you're having a klutzy day!"
I find that often times in retail, I have more cranky customers than nice ones, so I really appreciate when I come across someone who has fun and jokes around with you.

Funny Quote

"Silent Night" playing on TV: "... sleep in heavenly peace!"
Jeremy: "Did you hear that? Heavenly Peace...not heavenly peas! Although I'm sure God likes vegetables."

Rita

Rita was laying on the couch relaxing. I walked up to her and made a fish face. She looked uncomfortable and turned the other way. I realized that if someone twice my size walked up to me and made a fish face I'd feel uncomfortable and look away too.

Sorry Rita.

What's in Your Oven?

I heard the oven beep tonight, and I assumed my dad was making pizza rolls. My mom didn't know what he was making, so she opened the oven door. You'll never guess what was inside.
His watch!
Wait-what? Watches don't go in the oven...
He came walking into the room just then, and I said "Daddy, is that your watch in the oven?!"
His reply? "Yes."

Huh?

I asked him why his watch was in the oven.
He said "Well, it's having some moisture problems. I'm hoping I can solve it without cooking the watch." (I didn't point out that he would be baking the watch)

Bless You!

I was reading about the Monist philosopher Anaximenes. A Monist believes that the basic "stuff" of reality is one thing and one thing only. Air, water, fire, and so on (though Pythagoras thought it was just numbers).
Anaximenes thought it was air. He theorized that one's breath is linked to your soul.
This lead me to read about when people sneezed. Apparently people used to think you could sneeze your soul out. Yep- you sneeze and your soul comes flying out of you. This is why people would say, "Bless you" or some such. (This also makes my mom wonder if mucus was thought to be part of your soul. Eww!)
I've read about this before, but today it stuck me as more comical than usual. And then I realized that if I were with someone who believed this, I'd be considered awfully cruel. And people would probably think that I didn't care about my soul!
But I have to wonder something else: What did they think if they had a cold? Or if their allergies were acting up? Or if they sniffed something and it made them sneeze? Did they think to relate the sneeze to being ill or to scents? Or did they think that they were being punished by potentially losing their soul?
I also wonder if anyone ever got really sick. Maybe they spiked a really high fever, and without modern medicine it caused mental damage. Lets say they had sneezed a few times during this illness. Would people think their mental damage was from being sick, or would they say "Oh! Poor Billy here sneezed and lost his soul. Now something is wrong with him!"

It's things like these I always wonder about...

Lebkuchen

So, John has to make lebkuchen for a school project. He invited his friend Justin over to help.
John is 15, and Justin is 14, so the two of them working on a baking project could get a bit messy. Laura Muetz asked Lizzy and I to supervise the two of them.
It was pretty interesting. John was freaking out at one point because he was convinced a saucepan was too big for boiling molasses and honey. He thought it would burn and ruin it, but Lizzy and I convinced him it would be okay.
I don't think there was a single silent moment the whole time. John and Justin were constantly yelling out worries, or singing, or making jokes, or asking questions. It was a very loud kitchen! John needed to zest a lemon, but he kept knocking around the dish he was zesting it into, so I held it still for him. I hadn't realized I'd cut my thumb, so I had a very unpleasant surprise when some of the lemon zest hit that. Ouch!
So, the whole process was pretty loud and messy, but John has the dough ready for tomorrow.
I'll help with rolling it out and slicing it up if he needs help, but I'm not helping with his next school project, which is pinning insects he's collected to a board. He can see if Luke wants to help with that.

My first post in 2011!

Wow, 2011? I can't believe it! I remember New Year's of 2000. It doesn't seem like that was 11 years ago.
And this is my first post this year. I guess I've gotten bad about posting since we moved.
I'll have to try more often!

I know winter has barely started, but already I can't wait for spring! I want it to be warm (or at least not freezing) and the ground to be dry. I guess I have no choice but to wait a few months.
Yesterday Jeremy, Lizzy and I all really wanted to go the park and roll down the big hill. Just not in the snow. Although who knows, maybe that would be fun...

Yesterday the three of us decided to have a bit of an adventure. We realized none of us could remember when was the last time we did a somersault. I guessed that the last time I would have done one was probably in Texas, so over five years ago! Before we started, we decided to look it up on Youtube to avoid breaking our necks. We watched a gymnastics video, but we decided none of us ever did our somersaults that way when we were little. Apparently we always risked breaking our necks! We decided to stick with our old method anyway.
I went first. I did one and was quite happy. Then I decided to try doing several in a row. After the second one I crashed into the wall (it's not a very wide hallway...).
Jeremy couldn't do one. He was afraid of breaking his neck. Lizzy tried a few times, but always ended up with her legs going up the wall.
My dad came home at that point and wanted to try to outdo Jeremy. He soon changed his mind, though. He thought it might be awkward to call into work next week saying "Sorry, I can't come in. I broke my body trying to outdo my 19 year old son in somersaults."
I can see how that would be potentially awkward.
The whole thing was pretty humorous, though.

And in other news, many of us have or are getting over colds. I think my mom, Luke, and John had it the worst. Somehow I've managed to avoid catching it. Although I've lost some sleep from the others having it. From my room I can hear both John and Luke coughing in their rooms.

Oh, and I like Janesville. So much better than Custer Park.

Really!?

Today I almost gave myself a fat lip with my glasses.
It reminded me of the time I gave myself a black eye while making a hoopskirt.
I'm special.

I wonder if I should make a new tag for "klutzy moments"?
I'm sure I'll end up with enough to post about that I might as well start that tag...

I find it unfortunate that my parents won't allow me to tape this to the backdoor. I asked, and they said no. But really, who wouldn't want to get rid of demons of stupidity?
Oh well. At least I can be humored here.
Thanks for the picture, Aunt Chris!

Today I was looking at a bottle of dog shampoo. It says "Flea and tick shampoo for dogs with oatmeal."
Dogs with oatmeal? As in the dogs have some oatmeal?
Why not "Flea and tick shampoo with oatmeal for dogs" or something like that? Why "...for dogs with oatmeal"?
It just doesn't make any sense!
My dogs do not have oatmeal. I don't mind washing them with shampoo that has oatmeal content, but I'm not going to specifically search for a shampoo that has to be used for if your dogs have oatmeal. I don't generally feed my dogs oatmeal.

This makes no sense, and it disappoints me.

Sneezing Panda!

I was looking at one of my favorite videos: The Sneezing Baby Panda, when I found a website for this famous little panda: http://www.sneezingbabypanda.com/index.php

How funny is that?

That panda is so cute!

I just learned something...

...Don't put lotion on your feet and then wear foam flip flops. You'll start sliding around and may lose your flip flops...or your balance.


And yes, I am adding "education" as one of the labels to this post. I found it to be a very educational experience. One that I probably shouldn't repeat.

Cinco De Mayo

I just remembered something amusing (at least to my family). When we lived in Texas we used to go to this really good Mexican restaurant (I can't spell the name of the restaurant). I remember one time Jeremy had walked to the restroom, and on his way back one of the waiters told him "It's Cinco De Mayo!". Jeremy had no idea what the man had said, so he just replied "Really? That's really great!". When he got back to our table he told us about the encounter and asked my parents what Cinco De Mayo is. They decided to have some fun with him and told him it was Spanish for something like "The world's ending!". So, the waiter had just told Jeremy the world was ending and Jeremy responded about how great that is. He, of course, knew that wasn't what the waiter had said, but he was kind of nervous about his response until my parents told him what it actually was.
I think he's careful about how he responds to things said in different languages now.

Chicken Smuggling

Tonight, during dinner, Jeremy and Luke decided to discuss if I would ever break a law or not, and if so, what would it be?
They decided there were two possibilities, unfortunately I can't remember the second one, but the other one was funnier anyway.

Apparently, if I ever broke a law, it would be because I would be smuggling chickens into a city apartment.
Luke says I would put them in a box when I move in, and if they started squawking I would tell the landlord that it was really my dog barking.

Turkey Love

This is actually from a few weeks ago, but I just remembered it and thought I would share.

Luke and my Dad were outside by the chicken/turkey yard when someone drove past and yelled "I love you turkey!".
Isn't that funny? Some guy just drives by and randomly talks to our turkey. I find it awfully amusing!

Days are too short...

I decided that days are much too short. I can never get everything done that I want to get done.
I just found a link for a thing where you can type in how many hours you spend on things, and it tells you how much of your day you're using. If I did everything I wanted to do in a day (including sleeping) I'd have -12 hours left in each day. Therefore, I think we should add 12 hours to each day: We should have 36 hour days.

A Page Off My Mom's Blog...

My Mom shared this very funny post with me (it's a few years old), and I thought it was funny enough to post here:

Sometimes you meet a homeschooler that is absolutely convinced that their very average child is an absolute genius.
I met one the other day and just wanted to slap the woman into reality. I have met their average 8 year old child several times.
She's normal, a bit spastic, fun, and pretty much right on target for her age group.
Mom brags "she can READ!". Umm yeah. I hope so. "She can say her multiplication tables up to TEN!" well, good for her.
Then she goes on to explain the child's imagination. She can entertain herself for HOURS with a box of Legos.
This woman is convinced she is homeschooling because her child's genius cannot be trusted to anyone else. ::eyeroll:: Don't get me wrong, the girl is doing very well being home educated. But she's NOT an advanced student. She's a cute kid that mom could brag on WITHOUT trying to make her seem special. In my eyes that makes it look like she's not confident and trying to convince us that she's doing a great job.. and it has the opposite effect. In other words.. since she brags about her times tables, I'm guessing the kid struggled with them. I dunno.

Now that I mention this.. I am so embarrassed to admit this to all of you moms with uber children, but Luke IS struggling with the fine motor skills required in the advance neurosurgery class he is taking.
But after all, we could only get him into advanced molecular nuclear astrophysics last year, so it is no wonder his human genome theory phd is at risk.

I cringe that he is so sub standard!
We avoid any co-op right now so as to not have him faced with his own poor self esteem... perhaps we will show our faces again after he finishes that water powered automobile engine he has been building with Tinkertoys and Legos.
It was a childish whim, but we allowed it.


Comments:
Tiredmama wrote:

Apr. 29th, 2008 11:43 am (local)

You are so brave to admit this here. I'm really shocked that you allowed Luke to lower himself to working with legos and tinkertoys for the water powered automobile. If he continues to struggle, we have found that Kinex work a bit better than the tinker toys. I will weep with and for you that he's unable to keep up with advanced neurosurgery. Maybe he can be held back and relearn the basics this year. Again, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this blow to his self esteem and to your ability as a teacher. I'll pray for you. It sounds like you really need it.

Laurajg wrote:

Apr. 29th, 2008 02:19 pm (local)

Oh goodness.. he would be soo upset if he had to start all the way back at String Theory and I don't know that Steven Hawkings is still teaching it...